


the prettiest blue

by bazookajo94



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Aaron POV, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Andrew and Aaron meet later in life, Established Relationship, Homeless Neil Josten, M/M, Neil's final act before being kidnapped and tortured is to introduce Aaron to Andrew, Photos, Soft Neil Josten, twinyards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26724772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazookajo94/pseuds/bazookajo94
Summary: Andrew and Aaron meet when they're 25 and living halfway across the country from each other.*“And the person who set this up?” Aaron asked, the first words he’d said to his brother ever in his life. “Where is he?”Something flickered in Andrew’s eyes now, just for a second, before returning to nothing. Andrew looked away. “Not here,” he answered, and Aaron wondered at the thing he saw flash in his twin brother’s eyes. He thought it looked like anger.
Relationships: Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 25
Kudos: 580
Collections: All For The Game random short stories, All for the Game Fics





	the prettiest blue

**Author's Note:**

> i love established relationship neil/andrew AU fics and i want to live in them forever. if u have them, i want them immediately.
> 
> the alternate version of this story was supposed to be they meet later in life but neil is past his trauma and just living happily with andrew and he's a cryptid that aaron and nicky NEVER see around the apartment but they just know andrew is living with someone.
> 
> but then, well, u know. angst happened instead.

When Aaron first met his twin brother when he was twenty-five years old, he thought Andrew looked tired, and then he thought he looked dead, and then Aaron realized he didn’t look anything at all.

Nicky, also meeting Andrew for the first time, smiled awkwardly when Andrew had opened the door. “Hey! Andrew, right? Wow, you two really _are_ twins.”

Andrew and Aaron just looked at each other in silence. Aaron was frowning and Andrew was simply staring back impassively. After a moment, Andrew opened his door wider and let Aaron and Nicky step in with their things. They would be staying the weekend, Thursday to Sunday, to get to know their recently found family member.

Andrew didn’t ask about their trip or inquire if they wanted anything. He walked down the hall and they followed, all three stopping when Andrew did in front of a room with a queen bed and a cot at the end of it, blankets folded and pillows plumped. Aaron and Nicky, after a pause, walked in.

Andrew left to return to the living room, and Nicky and Aaron shared a glance but said nothing.

*

After Nicky and Aaron fought over who’d get the bed (“I don’t see why we can’t just share it. I mean, we’re cousins, Aaron, get over yourself.” “Shut up, Nicky.”), they returned to the living room to see Andrew had settled into the couch. Nicky had taken the other side of the couch and Aaron perched on the recliner across from them. The TV wasn’t on. The silence was deafening. Andrew was staring at Aaron again.

Nicky broke the quiet. “So, this is a cute apartment! How long have you lived here?”

Andrew finally spoke, the first words he’d spoken in front of Aaron ever in his life: “Three years.” His voice didn’t sound like Aaron’s, and now that he’d spoken, Aaron found himself unable to not notice all the things they did and didn’t have in common: same blonde hair, same eye color, same intermittent freckles on their cheeks and nose and forehead, but Andrew was stacked with muscle where Aaron was a little leaner, and Andrew’s gaze was unblinking and unfeeling, and Aaron felt sort of annoyed and uncomfortable about all this. Excited, too, but apparently he and Nicky were the only ones.

“And the person who set this up?” Aaron asked, the first words he’d said to his brother ever in his life. “Where is he?”

Something flickered in Andrew’s eyes now, just for a second, before returning to nothing. Andrew looked away. “Not here,” he answered, and Aaron wondered at the thing he saw flash in his twin brother’s eyes. He thought it looked like anger.

*

Andrew haunted the halls of his apartment like a ghost cut adrift, with nowhere to go and nothing to do but exist as something dead, something gone. Andrew took them where they wanted to go and did what they wanted to do, but not because he had any desire to get to know them better. Andrew clearly didn’t want to do anything. Nicky and Aaron would try to engage with Andrew, usher him into conversation, but he’d only reply to Aaron’s questions and he’d only provide one word answers.

He’d lived in Colorado for three years. He didn’t finish college. He worked at a bar. He lived alone. He had a cat. Its name was Neil.

“Oh, like the guy?” Nicky asked at dinner that night, after coercing the name out of Andrew over a basket of bread. Andrew had only ordered himself a gin and tonic while Nicky and Aaron gorged themselves on out-of-state meals at a local restaurant. Aaron had noticed that Andrew hadn’t eaten anything since they arrived. Aaron didn’t say anything, but he noticed.

Andrew was staring at his drink, tracing the rim of his glass with the tips of his fingers. When it became clear he wouldn’t answer, Aaron grew annoyed. “Who is he to you, anyways? Why the fuck was he in South Carolina when he knows you from here?”

Again, another flash of emotion in Andrew’s eyes, just for a second, before smoothing over. Andrew didn’t say anything, and Aaron, feeling antagonistic, pushed harder. “Why isn’t he here, if he cared so much about you to approach two random strangers? Where is he?”

Andrew finally picked up his glass, tossing it back and not flinching at the harsh juniper taste that Aaron could smell of the gin from where he sat. Andrew said, “Probably dead,” and then threw the glass at the wall so hard and so fast it shattered instantly, his face still vacant, his eyes dead. Nicky yelped at the glass shards on the wall, waving down a waitress. 

“Is everything all right?” the waitress asked, startled, as she pulled the damp, dirty rag out of her apron. 

Andrew wiped his lips, met Aaron’s eyes for a moment, before turning to her and saying, “I’ll take another gin and tonic.”

*

_“...”_

_“Hello? Did someone answer? Andrew?”_

_“Who is this.”_

_“Um. My name is Aaron.”_

_“And?”_

_“And I think you’re my brother.”_

_“I don’t have a brother.”_

_“Well, I have a picture of you with your phone number on it and some dude told me I should call you.”_

_“Some dude?”_

_“Yeah. Kinda sketchy, looked like a drug addict sort of? Or maybe he was just tired.”_

_“What does this have to do with you being my brother?”_

_“Well, we’re twins.”_

_“...”_

_“Hello? Andrew?”_

_“What was the drug addict’s name?”_

_“Um, I can’t remember. Neil, I think?”_

_“Where are you.”_

_“South Carolina.”_

_“Fuck.”_

*

Andrew actively avoided talking about the guy who discovered Aaron. He didn’t ask about how Neil approached them, didn’t ask to see the picture, didn’t want to know what the guy said to convince Aaron he had a twin brother halfway across the country. 

And yet Aaron sought every opportunity to bring him up, because it was the only time when Andrew looked any sort of human at all. 

“I mean, he must have been here at one point, right?” Aaron asked as Nicky tried to find a movie for them to watch Friday morning. “You named your cat after him.”

Aaron, who was sitting next to Andrew on the couch, watched as Andrew’s fists clenched. He didn’t say anything. Aaron, annoyed, kept pushing. “He looked sort of homeless, too. Right, Nicky?” Andrew didn’t engage with Nicky often, which was another thing that annoyed Aaron, even though he probably wouldn’t interact with Nicky either if he wasn’t related.

But they were. They _were_ all three related, and Andrew only cared to speak to Aaron.

Nicky, uncomfortable, chuckled awkwardly. “I mean, yeah, kind of. Definitely his hair hadn’t been washed in, like, days. But his eyes, right, Aaron?” Nicky asked, and Aaron watched as Andrew’s fists shook, just once, the muscles in his shoulders and chest tight and unmoving. Aaron couldn’t tell if Andrew was breathing.

Aaron waited until Andrew looked up at him before saying, borderline spiteful, “The prettiest blue.” Andrew didn’t look away from Aaron. If anything, the tone and vindictive behavior seemed to amuse him. Aaron was simultaneously pleased to see some emotion in Andrew’s eyes and furious once again that the only way to make Andrew feel was to mention the homeless drug addict with the prettiest blue eyes.

Aaron was the first to turn away as soon as Nicky exclaimed at the original _Karate Kid_ back on Netflix. “I love this movie,” he crowed, settling in on the other side of Andrew on the couch. Aaron looked at the other two chairs in the room and wondered why Andrew hadn’t sat in one of them, why he had decided to sit between him and Nicky.

Nicky asked, “Don’t you guys like this movie?”

Andrew and Aaron said at the same time, “No.”

*

When they went to lunch after the movie, Aaron tried to think of more ways to punish Andrew with the mention of Neil, but he was running out of things to ask, and Nicky was starting to frown whenever Aaron brought him up.

“Don’t you want to know about your family?” Nicky asked over a grilled cheese sandwich. Andrew ripped open a packet of sugar and started pouring it into his bowl of tomato soup that Aaron was startled he had ordered.

Andrew stayed quiet. Aaron, incensed, started speaking about his— _their_ —family out of spite. “Well, our mom is dead.” Andrew’s hands didn’t pause from opening another packet of sugar, and Aaron curled a lip at his behavior. He bullied on, “She OD’d when I was fifteen, and I was sent to live with Nicky and his parents for a while.”

“Yeah,” Nicky rushed, happy that one of the twins was talking. “Though that was a hard year, what with my parents being super homophobic of me and Aaron’s, um.” Nicky suddenly realized that maybe he shouldn’t share Aaron’s drug addiction, but the hesitation had gotten Andrew’s attention. He slowed the trail of sugar, looking up at Aaron.

“ ‘Aaron’s, um,’ ” Andrew mimicked, holding Aaron’s glare.

“ ‘Aaron’s, um,’ drug addiction,” Aaron answered. “Luther isn’t a super great dude, but he at least helped me through that before we left that godforsaken house.”

“Hey,” Nicky admonished halfheartedly. Neither Aaron nor Andrew acknowledged him.

“No father,” Aaron went on. “Apparently Mom, all alone, wanted to give us both up but she went back for one of us later. I went to college in South Carolina with Nicky and you came here and now here we are.” Despite his annoyance at his brother’s apathy, Aaron felt another spike of injustice at the unfairness of it all, of the fact that his mom had given up one of them, two parts of one whole, and he would never have known about Andrew if it weren’t for Neil, some random, gross man who stopped them on his way to god knows where.

And now, sitting at a table together, Aaron telling his brother—his _brother_ —about his life, and Andrew was just staring at him, not doing anything, not saying anything, not caring at all.

After a minute, Andrew went back to his soup. Aaron, furious, took a vicious bite of his sandwich. Nicky, uncomfortable, said, “You’re not going to eat that, are you?”

Andrew, deadpan, picked up his spoon and slurped an obnoxious sip before letting it clatter back into his full bowl, splashing some of the soup on his shirt, the table, Aaron’s face.

Aaron had visions of throwing the soup in Andrew’s face.

*

On Friday night, Andrew disappeared after dinner without telling them anything, and Aaron, livid, started going through Andrew’s things.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Nicky told him, hovering behind his shoulder while Aaron rifled through the drawers in Andrew’s room. There wasn’t anything to look through in the living room, just the chairs and the couch and the TV, and the kitchen only had kitchen things, and for some reason the closet in the spare room had a scuffed tennis racket and a copy of _The Scarlet Letter_ in Russian, but there wasn’t anything to snoop around in there. There weren’t two toothbrushes in the bathroom, and there weren’t matching mugs in the cupboards, and there weren’t two pairs of shoes by the door.

Aaron didn’t know what he was looking for, but he was positive he’d find it in Andrew’s room.

He told Nicky, “If he didn’t want to leave us alone in his apartment, then he shouldn’t have left us alone.”

“But, I mean, aren’t you scared? Isn’t he scary?” Nicky watched as Aaron started tossing Andrew’s clothes out of his drawers, hoping to find something underneath to incriminate him.

“No.” Aaron wasn’t scared of Andrew. He moved on to Andrew’s closet, finding nothing of import in there. Almost desperate now, Aaron forcefully opened Andrew’s nightstand and found only a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and a folded up post-it note inside the half-filled pack.

He opened the well-worn creases of the note and found, in the same scrawl on the back of his photo of Andrew, “ _Thank you. You were amazing._ ”

“What is that?” Nicky asked in a quiet voice, and Aaron carefully folded the piece of paper back into the cigarettes. And then he turned to Andrew’s unmade bed and started stripping the blankets, tossing the pillows, feeling a hand between the mattress and the box spring, coming up empty, finding nothing except the cat, hiding in the torn-out box spring and staring at Aaron with unimpressed eyes.

Aaron didn’t bother remaking the bed or picking up the clothes, instead returning to the living room and searching through everything again. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but he needed to find something other than a racket and a book and a _Thank you. You were amazing._

*

By the time Andrew came back, Nicky was in the shower and Aaron had found an envelope under the welcome mat that said Andrew’s name and was full of pictures. He spread them out on the floor and sat in front of them and waited until Andrew came home. Andrew didn’t look surprised that Aaron had found the envelope or angry at the invasion of his apartment. He still looked dead and gone and, now, a little tired, as he approached Aaron.

Andrew sat in front of Aaron on the other side of the pictures.

“It was still sealed,” Aaron said, staring at Andrew while Andrew stared at the pictures.

“I don’t care,” Andrew told him, and Aaron didn’t know what he was referring to: Aaron’s break-in, or that Aaron found the envelope, or that he didn’t care what was in the envelope so he never opened it.

Aaron looked back down at the pictures. Most of them were of Andrew. Andrew smoking, Andrew staring at a bird at the zoo, Andrew doodling on a placemat at a restaurant. Andrew sipping from a milkshake, Andrew staring up at a rollercoaster, Andrew rifling through a clothing rack at Target. Andrew on his phone, Andrew yawning after just waking up, Andrew sitting on the couch and staring up at whoever was taking his picture.

So many of Andrew doing absolutely nothing, and only one of Andrew and Neil, a selfie of them sitting on the armchair together, Neil perched on Andrew’s lap, Andrew’s arm outstretched to hold the camera. Neil looked a lot cleaner here, though his eyes were brown and his hair was black and he was wearing one of Andrew’s shirts. Neither of them were smiling, but Neil looked very comfortable and Andrew was leaning into him, just a little.

Movement distracted Aaron, and he looked up to see Andrew reach out a slow hand and pick up one of the pictures of Andrew at the zoo. He turned it over, and Aaron knew what he read there because Aaron had read it earlier himself: _and here we see a young booby staring at another young booby. remember when those kids laughed at its name? (it was us. we were the kids)_

Andrew picked up another picture, one where Andrew was cradling the cat to his chest and watching impassively as it batted at his face. On the back, it said, _my handson grandson_

Another one, with Andrew and the milkshake: _disgusting and you’re disgusting_

Eventually, Andrew picked up their only picture together, but it took him a long time to turn it over. On its back: _is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?_

Andrew dropped the picture. He took a deep breath. Pulled out a cigarette and started smoking in the living room, looking hard at the pictures and keeping the flame burning on his lighter as if he was contemplating burning them.

“What’s going on, Andrew?” Aaron asked. When Andrew ignored him, the reflection of the lighter’s flame bright in his dull eyes, Aaron moved to his knees, put himself in Andrew’s space, waited for him to look up at him. Glaring, Aaron pulled out his own picture, a simple picture of Andrew at his dining table and staring at Neil through the camera, but the edges were worn, the paper swollen with water damage, some of it stained. Aaron smacked the picture down in front of his brother. “What the fuck?” he asked again. “Was it a bad breakup? Did you kick him out? Why did he find us in South Carolina?”

Andrew turned away from the pictures, stared vacantly out the window for two puffs of his cigarette before finally looking at Aaron. “I’ll go with you,” he said.

Aaron felt like he was smacked. “What?”

“When you go back. I can go with you.”

“Why? Suddenly interested in having a brother?” Aaron couldn’t help the scorn in his voice, but he couldn’t understand why Andrew suddenly wanted to remain in his life. “Is it because of him?” Aaron asked, bitter. “Because he’s not here anymore?” 

When Andrew didn’t say anything, Aaron scoffed, turning away. He wanted to say something, to yell, to scream at the shame of all this—Andrew not caring, Andrew here alone, only wanting to stay with Aaron because he literally had no one else, and Aaron, jealous of the man who brought them together, who made Andrew feel anything at all, who was probably dead. 

Just then, Nicky came out of the bathroom. “Oh, Andrew! You’re back!”

Andrew didn’t acknowledge Nicky, and Aaron didn’t look away from Andrew, the air thick with words unsaid. Eventually, Andrew stubbed out his cigarette in the carpet and stood up, disappearing into his room, Aaron watching while he left.

*

_“Me and Nicky are thinking of coming to visit you.”_

_“…”_

_“Andrew?”_

_“…”_

_“Is that all right? We just want to meet.”_

_“Fine.”_

_“Fine?”_

_“When will you be here?”_

_“When can we come?”_

_“Whenever. It doesn’t matter.”_

_“Uh. Okay. Great. I guess I’ll text you the details.”_

_“I guess you will.”_

*

That night Aaron stumbled out of his room for a glass of water and found a man asleep on Andrew’s couch.

“Jesus!” he hissed, his hand flying to his chest like some woman clutching her pearls in fright. The man’s face was covered in bandages and there was a bag of pills on the floor next to the couch. Aaron studied the man’s face while his heart raced, and he realized he recognized the face once he saw passed all the bandages. After a minute, Aaron quietly walked down the hall to Andrew’s room.

The door was closed and the knob was locked, so Aaron pounded hard on the wood, his knocks reverberating in the still quiet of the early morning, and hollered to his twin brother, “Someone broke into your apartment.”

*

Andrew opened his door, still fully clothed as if he hadn’t done anything at all since he left Aaron in the living room hours before. He didn’t look like he slept. Nicky sat bolt right up in bed, yelping at all the loud noises. The cat sprinted from the room and all three boys followed it and watched as it jumped onto Neil’s chest.

Neil, who probably also woke at Aaron’s yell, was in the midst of sitting up when the cat jumped on him. He moaned in pain, laying back down and wheezing around a wound that must have been disturbed, and Andrew was shoving Aaron aside and approaching Neil, falling to his knees at his side.

Aaron and Nicky watched on in silence as Andrew and Neil stared at each other. They couldn’t see Andrew’s face, but they could see Neil’s, and he looked so happy and relieved to see Andrew that Aaron felt choked by the emotion. After a minute of the cat butting Neil’s chin and Andrew not moving and Neil just staring, Neil eventually raised a hand and cupped Andrew’s face with bandaged fingers. Neil tapped a thumb to Andrew’s temple and whispered something Aaron couldn’t hear, but he did hear Andrew say, “Shut up,” in return.

Then Andrew started ripping the bandages off Neil’s face, and Aaron turned around.

“Um,” Nicky said, torn between following Aaron or staying with the boys reunited. But he didn’t know Andrew, not really, and so he followed Aaron back to their room. Nicky sat on the edge of the bed and Aaron crawled under his blankets on the cot and ignored Nicky when he asked, “What the fuck?”

*

Saturday morning, Aaron and Nicky walked into the living room and Neil and his pills were gone. Andrew’s door was closed, and Aaron didn’t spare it a second glance as he went to prepare a cup of coffee. He was not quiet about it.

“Do you think he’s still here?” Nicky asked.

“Yes,” Aaron answered.

A few minutes later, Andrew’s door opened and Neil shuffled out in black sweatpants and the sweatshirt Andrew had been wearing yesterday. He softly closed the door behind him and then came into the kitchen and nodded in greeting at Aaron and Nicky. The bandages were back on his face.

The room was silent as Neil poured himself a cup of coffee and then pulled out the eggs.

“Oh, are you cooking?” Nicky asked. He seemed delighted by the thought. They’d been eating out every meal since they got here.

Neil snorted softly. “I wouldn’t get too excited. I’m not very good.”

Nicky laughed good-naturedly. “I wouldn’t worry about that. We’re very hungry.”

 _Oh, are we?_ Aaron rolled his eyes. This was all very stupid.

“What is Andrew doing?” Aaron asked.

Neil started melting some butter in a pan and then cracked the entire carton of eggs into a bowl. “Sleeping,” Neil said. He pulled out a fork to mix the eggs. “What are you guys doing today?”

“Oh, well, we’re not sure?” Nicky looked at Aaron for help. “Andrew doesn’t say much and, well.” Nicky couldn’t finish his sentence because there wasn’t anything more to say. Andrew didn’t speak to them unless prompted, and mostly Aaron and Nicky decided what they’d do and Andrew followed. Aaron wondered if today would be any different.

Neil nodded in understanding, and Aaron’s ever present annoyance at this whole situation flared again. Aaron asked, “Are you joining us?”

Neil shrugged, pouring the mixed eggs into the pan and pulling out a spatula with the ease of someone who had lived here for a very long time. Nicky and Aaron watched him cook for a minute before Andrew’s bedroom door opened again.

Andrew walked out just as Nicky took a really good look at Neil. He asked suddenly, with a hint of wonder, “Hey, wasn’t your hair kinda brown before, or was it always that red?”

Aaron studied Andrew as he entered the kitchen: flannel pajama pants, sleep-ruffled hair, and a gray sweater that Aaron knew didn’t belong to Andrew because Aaron had literally gone through all his clothes yesterday. He thought he recalled Neil wearing it last night.

Neil didn’t turn away from the pan when he answered Nicky. “Maybe? I can’t remember what I looked like when I saw you guys.”

“It was only a few weeks ago,” Aaron pointed out. He watched Andrew pour himself the last bit of the coffee before leaning against the counter to watch Neil cook. Aaron took another sip of his own coffee. It was growing lukewarm now.

Andrew didn’t turn away from Neil. Neil started toasting some bread. Nicky fiddled with the handle of his mug, shooting nervous glances at everyone.

Aaron took a deep breath before asking, “What happened to your face?”

*

They decided to go to the butterfly emporium. After an awkward breakfast where Aaron glared at his food and Andrew stared at nothing while he ate and Nicky attempted to hold awkward conversations and Neil humored him with his facial wounds on full display, Neil suggested the butterfly emporium, claiming he’d never been.

“Will you be taking pictures?” Aaron asked, and Andrew finally focused his gaze on Aaron again. Aaron stared back.

Neil said, “No. I don’t have a camera anymore.” He frowned, likely wondering why Aaron had brought it up. But Aaron didn’t care about Neil. 

Aaron waited for Andrew to say something, but he just followed Neil out of the apartment in silence. 

*

“This place is creepy as shit.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, Neil. I can’t believe you just held that tarantula.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t.”

“God, what am I, insane? Ew, no.”

Neil laughed at Nicky. They were both walking ahead in the emporium now, dodging butterflies and being careful not to touch the insects’ wings or disturb their flight while still reading about them and admiring their colors. Andrew walked back with Aaron and never flinched when one flew at his face. Aaron batted them away, not caring if he touched one. 

Aaron vaguely tuned in to what Nicky and Neil were talking about every once in while, trying to focus most of his attention on starting a conversation with Andrew, but he didn’t know how. Aaron had been using Neil and rage to get Andrew to talk these past two days, and he didn’t know how to move passed that, even with Neil here now. 

But he didn’t want to talk about Neil. He said, “I have a girlfriend.”

Andrew, characteristically, stayed quiet. Aaron continued, “Her name is Katelyn. She was a cheerleader in college. We’re both about to start our residencies.” 

“Cute,” Andrew said, and he sounded derisive. Aaron glared. 

“Sorry, and your boyfriend? What does he do?” Aaron sniped. 

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

Aaron snorted. They continued walking in silence when Neil suddenly turned around, poised to ask something, until he looked up at Andrew’s hair and Nicky laughed. Andrew and Aaron stopped and Aaron also looked to Andrew’s hair, where he found an iridescent blue butterfly perched on top of the strands. 

“Aw,” Nicky cooed, and Neil was grinning at Andrew, and Andrew was holding very still, and Aaron was looking at the butterfly, and he was wondering what he was doing here, what he was supposed to do now—laugh, or keep being angry, or let it go, or just know Andrew with whatever he gave him, just know Andrew with Neil. 

*

When they all came home after dinner, Andrew jerked his head in direction of the bathroom and Neil raised a brow, so Andrew gestured to Neil’s arms and face and said nothing and Neil eventually sighed and followed after Andrew like a sullen child, and when Aaron turned to Nicky he found Nicky beaming.

“They’re kinda cute, huh? I’m glad Neil showed up. I was getting worried this would be a failure. You think if we asked, they would come visit us in South Carolina?”

“I don’t know,” Aaron said, thinking of the night before. “Let’s ask.”

*

That night, after Neil said goodnight and staggered to Andrew’s bedroom, Andrew walked to the front door and Aaron followed. He followed him down the hall and up the stairs and through the roof access door and to the edge of the building and stared down at the city and watched down below while Andrew lit a cigarette and exhaled long and deep. 

“We’re leaving tomorrow,” Aaron said. 

Andrew continued smoking. Aaron, so angry but so defeated, said, “Can’t you give me anything? I’m leaving _tomorrow_ , Andrew. Don’t you have anything to say?”

“Not really.”

Aaron sighed. His throat hurt. He wanted to call Katelyn. He wanted to talk with Nicky. He didn’t want to be here anymore. “So you’re not going to ‘go with me’ anymore?” he asked. “Now that Neil is back?”

Andrew was quiet for so long that Aaron almost left, but just as he took a step to turn around, Andrew said, “I said I would go, and I will.” Aaron stopped. Breathed in. Out. Thought for a moment. Wondered. _Hoped_ —

“And Neil?” he asked.

Andrew finished his cigarette and flicked it off the roof. “He will come with me.”

Aaron paused. Remembered the _You were amazing._ Asked, “Why?” because he still couldn’t understand, even with the pictures and the touches and the looks and the smiles. 

“Because he’s mine.”

Aaron frowned. “He’s _yours_ ? Your _what_? Boyfriend? Best friend? Emotional support homeless man?”

Andrew didn’t say anything, and Aaron told himself that if Andrew didn’t say anything else, no matter where Andrew went after this, Aaron would not care because Andrew didn’t want to be anything to him after all. 

But Andrew did speak, as if forcing the words out, as if he knew that Aaron would leave and never come back. “I moved away from California when I was twenty. To leave...where I was before. And when I eventually got here, I found Neil, and he was homeless. He was splitting his time between a hostile and a homeless shelter, and he pretended he was a student and told me he lived on campus and that he had brown eyes and black hair and I didn’t believe him but I didn’t do anything about it. But he was a runaway, and a coward, and he didn’t tell me the truth until he was about to leave because someone was threatening him—” Andrew clenched his fists, cracked his knuckles. After a deep breath, he continued, “He left me that envelope and then he was gone. A week later you called.”

Aaron didn’t know what to think, what to say. He still wasn’t sure the whole truth about Neil, and he didn’t think he cared to know. He just wanted...he just—

“So you’ll come, then?” Aaron asked.

Andrew turned to face him. Stared at him for so long that Aaron almost started to see his own face staring back at him. Said, “Yes.”

*

_“And this is his phone number?”_

_“Yep.”_

_“Why are you giving this to me? Why are you doing this?”_

_“I just don’t want him to be alone. Call him, won’t you? He doesn’t leave for work until six most nights.”_

_“Are you sure I can have this picture?”_

_“Yeah. I shouldn’t have taken it with me in the first place.”_

_“Okay?”_

_“I’m glad I found you, Aaron.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“I think you’ll get along. You seem just like him.”_

_“Do I?”_

_“Well. More or less. Anyway, I’ve got to go. Just call him, okay?”_

_“Okay.”_


End file.
